Have you ever been struck by a profound statement — one that stopped you in your tracks? Or maybe you did not realize the depth of the statement until later?
Last year, while working on a project in the auto industry, I had such an experience. I was working with a long-time friend and colleague, Doug Krug. Doug is the co-founder of the consulting firm, Enlightened Leadership Solutions. He is also the co-author of the Simon & Schuster bestseller, Enlightened Leadership: Getting to the Heart of Change. Doug is an amazing speaker. He has the ability to connect with audience members no matter how diverse — and he’s able to do it every single time. How many of you would like to be able to do that every time that you spoke? Would you like to know Doug’s secret for connecting with audiences on a deeper level?
Doug’s profound statement sounded awkward and odd: “We Must Speak Into The Listening That People Are Hearing.”
My interpretation of what Doug meant is that we must be able to speak in such a way that people will hear us. Great speakers are great listeners. They are able to speak into the listening that their audiences are hearing.
According to Tim Ursiny, Ph.D., and author of The Coward’s Guide to Conflict, there are five ways that people listen:
Appreciative listeners like to have fun and be entertained. In this listening mode, they want to relax and enjoy the listening experience. The symbol that represents them is a remote control because this type of listener loses interest easily and “switches channels.”
Goal: Enjoyment and fun.
Attributes: They want to be entertained. They enjoy good stories, jokes, concerts, or comedy clubs.
Symbol: Remote control — they switch channels and lose interest easily.
Ask: How does my speech keep an appreciative listener interested? Is it fun?
Empathic Listener
Empathic listeners are listening in order to support the speaker. Their focus is concern for the person talking. Empathic listening is generally used when counseling a friend, letting someone blow off steam, or bonding to create a relationship.
Goal: Show concern or support for the person talking.
Attributes: You will see them nodding in agreement to show support.
Symbol: Heart
Ask: How is my talk appealing to the empathic listener?
Comprehensive Listener
Comprehensive listeners organize information provided by the speaker. They want to make sense of the information so they can apply it in their world. The symbol for listeners in this mode is the label maker. Labels give them structure and make the information easier to organize.
Goal: Organize information or thoughts .
Attributes: They need organization so they can apply what they learn.
Symbol: Label maker. Labels give them a structure, which gives them comfort.
Ask: How can a comprehensive listener follow my presentation? Is it organized? Is it easy to label?
Discerning Listener
A discerning listener looks for the big picture or the most important point. They gather and sort through a lot information and focus on the most important theme. In this listening mode, the listener asks a lot of questions.
Goal: Find big picture or critical point
Attributes: Asks many questions
Symbol: Question mark
Ask: In what ways is my speech answering the questions of the discerning listener? Can they see the big picture with the clues that I provide?
Evaluative Listener
The most common style of listening in business is the evaluative mode. These listeners are listening in order to take action or move on a decision. Their symbol is the wrench because they are attempting to fix something. This listener is skeptical so you need to ask, “What information will help make a decision or fix a problem?”
Goal: Take action, make a decision, or fix a problem.
Attributes: Their purpose in listening is to make a decision.
Symbol: Wrench
Ask: What information will help make a decision or fix a problem? Is my information credible?
Final Thoughts
Depending on the purpose of your speech, you may not want to appeal to all five listening styles. However, the more styles you incorporate, the more likely are to be speaking into the listening that your audience is hearing.
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